Most relationships in the past would begin with a look, a stare, a smile, and a handshake, rather than a click, a swipe, or a one-night stand, which is the modern-day dating life. The prominent statements are, “ Let’s just see where it goes.” But sadly, that’s where another story of life begins……
In a 2025 study published in the American Journal of Psychology, Dr. Albert Oduwole surveyed over 200 adults in relationships and conducted in-depth interviews with 12 couples. “Contemporary couples must negotiate a fast-paced, digitally connected world marked by endless distraction, shifting cultural values and amplified individualistic mindset,” Oduwole explains. (1)
We are living in a time where relationships increasingly exist without definition, without commitment and often without accountability. Terms like situationship, ghosting, and benching, etc., have normalised emotional ambiguity. They offer flexibility and exit without confrontation- but they also leave behind something less visible: ‘erosion of emotional trust’.
It is a shift from commitment to convenience, because that is the most rewarding part in the relationship. In this process, neither of them is pressured; each one gets a hold of the other and does what each one pleases. There are no questions asked, no answers sought. It sounds like a typical state of freedom, but the irony of it is that even though you say you are in a relationship, you do not enjoy the most integral part of being together. It is as though you are just physically one, but you may not be able to emotionally hold on to each other for the support, togetherness, and bonding with your partner. A connection without belongingness. This non-committal, no responsibility kind of relationship again lacks trust and genuineness. So when you actually need someone to hold on to, emotionally, you have on the contrary, created more ripples and distanced people. You begin to detest relationships. There can be instances where each time someone disappears without an explanation, or keeps another person as an option rather than a choice, it does not end only in that moment. It reshapes how both individuals approach future relationships. Over time, this repeated exposure to unstable conditions leads people to expect impermanence. An insecure and threatened environment is created which puts the brain in a survival instinct mode and creates the cortisol surge.
You may begin to use emotional detachment as a defence mechanism. What is affected most is not just the relationship with others, but the relationship with oneself. Self-worth quietly starts depending on external consistency. Doubt replaces emotional ease. People begin to question their own value, their own readability, their own adequacy. Conflict within the self begins. You need to pause and weigh your options and the choices that you have made. You may want to talk to a professional in these moments.
Stable, invested relationships do something profoundly different. They allow the nervous system to rest. They create continuity of emotional experience. They teach the mind that conflict doesn’t mean abandonment, and distance doesn’t mean disappearance. A culture of convenience may protect us from immediate discomfort. But it also reduces our tolerance for depth, repair and permanence – the very conditions that allow love to mature.
Not every relationship is meant to last but the way we enter, hold and exit, leave a lasting imprint on who we become within those and who we believe ourselves to be!
The habits we build in casual dynamics can carry into serious relationships later. So the question is do we want to soak ourselves in these emotionless casual relationships or strengthen our ability to grow with love, patience and trust with the person we choose, because no matter what, the human need for meaningful emotional bonds will remain unchanged for generations. Can we see it and live it?
If you seek answers in this area of your life, be free to communicate with us.
References-
1.Travers M. The 5 Biggest Threats To Modern Relationships — By A Psychologist. Forbes [Internet]. 2025 May 25; Available from: https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2025/05/25/the-5-biggest-threats-to-modern-relationships---by-a-psychologist/
© Soul Compass – Powered by Kefitup